Despite being all smiles at breakfast, yesterday was not a good day. Nothing in particular really happened, I was just in a funk. My funk led to snacking and snacking led to more funk. Lunch was ordered in with coworkers so there are no photos to show since I don’t take photos at work (except in the privacy of my own office). I had a Greek salad, then a cookie and one fourth of the gigantic fudge brownies they were passing around. I couldn’t help myself when cookies went around again in the afternoon. They were Andes mint cookies and very deadly. Now, had I stopped there, things wouldn’t have been so bad, but I didn’t…
Despite having plans to do some light elliptical-ing after work, I chose to have half a beer and snack my way through the pantry instead.
We ordered pizza from Papa John’s in preparation for my long run, which was this morning (more on that later). I somehow justified needing a third piece even though I was plenty full, then pretzels and chocolate edemame because I already felt bad about eating beyond fullness so what more damage could I do?
This is a particularly nasty cycle for me. I feel bad about my eating habits, and then stressing about it makes me want to eat more. I’m a stress eater for sure. Plus I’m too hard on myself and I beat myself up for mindless eating.
There is definitely an ebb and flow to my feelings about myself and my eating in general. I haven’t been especially happy with my workout and food balance since I got back from my honeymoon, which I’ve mentioned before. Sure, I’m training for a marathon so I should be eating more (some days), but I also need to work on being more cognizant of my hunger cues. It’s no secret that some people actually gain wait during marathon training. I gained weight during my first half marathon. Somehow you decide because you do a long run one day a week, that you deserve to eat whatever you want when you want, despite not being hungry for it. And when I say “you”, I mean “me”.
There also is a lack of balance with my workouts. A runner cannot get stronger and faster on running alone. I need cross training and strength training. But somehow it has gotten too easy for me to push this aside.
I think the best thing for me is to concentrate on treating myself well and giving myself a break. This means remembering that treating myself well means working out, sometimes when I don’t want to (I don’t mean when I’m truly tired) because it will make me feel so much better afterwards and it’s better for my mental health. Somehow skipping a workout translates into having more time to snack at night and that is double trouble.
I know that focusing on mindful eating and balancing my weekly exercise with things other than running is “treating myself well”. Remembering that is my biggest challenge.
I admire people who have this all figured out in their heads. I am not embarrassed to say that I’m still a work in progress.
***
So, this morning was my looong 14 mile run.
I didn’t plan to go first thing this morning, so I had a regular sized breakfast about an hour after getting up.
This morning called for some pumpkin oats for two.
-2/3 cup rolled oats
-2/3 cup almond milk
-2/3 cup water
-1 sliced banana
-1/2 tsp. cinnamon
-1/2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice
Toppings:
–pumpkin granola
-1 Tbsp. TJ’s sunflower seed butter
-1 Tbsp. pumpkin butter
So delicious…but it could have used a pinch of salt.
This is my work space for today, featuring my Santa Clause note pad.
I’ll post a long run recap later. Happy almost-weekend!