How Not to Pack {A Sarcastic Tutorial}

Last week, I posted a question on my Facebook page, asking what readers want to read about when I travel.

Brad and I arrived in Oakland last night at 6:30 (PST) and by the time we got our rental car, found our hotel in San Francisco, and checked in, it was 9:00 (12 pm EST).   So I’ll be back tomorrow with what I’ve been doing since then.

A reader and friend, Emily, said she wanted to hear about prep and packing for travel.  Well, I hate to break it to her and all of your that I am not a good packer.  Apparently, packing is the one thing that does not adhere to the rule, practice makes perfect.

For me, practice has made me perfectly disorganized and forgetful. When it comes to travel, I think the more anxious you are about it, the more you’re likely to think of everything you need and double-check yourself to make sure you packed it all.

I don’t really get hyped up about traveling, so somehow making my packing list and checking it twice never really happens.  So if you’re to learn anything from my packing habits, you should learn from my mistakes, of which there are many.

So read these travel tips that I usually follow carefully, and then do exactly the opposite.

1. Start making a list the morning you have to leave, and then get overwhelmed by the sheer number of outfits you have to pack and completely disregard your half written list.

I started making a list, but then after speaking with Brad, I realized that I wasn’t sure what nights we would go out to dinner and what day we would actually go to Sonoma wine country, and all of the unknowns resulted in complete abandoning of my list.

2. Pack all the clothes that you notice and like in your closet.

Who cares if my clothes actually go together or can be interchanged to create more outfits? Even though I’ll be staying with friends at the midway point of the trip and could do laundry, I’m sure I packed enough clothes to wear something different every day, even though no one besides Brad will see me more than two days in a row.

3. Don’t worry about all those electronics you need to bring with you, especially if you’re planning to blog about the trip and/or are going to a blogging summit.  You probably have everything you need already in your purse.

Did I pack my camera charger? I definitely saw it plugged into the wall and thought about packing it, so that probably means I packed it.  What about my phone charger?  I bet Brad packed his…and he won’t mind giving it up when he flies back to NC five days before me, right?

4.  Assume that your toiletry bag from the last trip already has everything you need in it.  

I’m sure it has everything I need, despite the fact that the last trip was camping, for which I have far less minimum groom expectations.

5. If you don’t have room in your bag, just stuff the rest of your crap in your husband/friend/partner’s luggage.  Sure, he’s returning five days ahead of you, but that shouldn’t be a problem.

I put my brown boots, blue gray toggle fasten coat, running shoes, hair straightener, and umbrella in Brad’s bag.  He’s leaving on Monday while I’m flying to LAX on Wednesday and then not returning to Charlotte until Friday, but for some reason the packing situation is no cause for concern for mea.

6. Wait to the last minute to pack and assume there will be no hiccups at the airport when you arrive just in time. 

Because when daily parking and the closest long term parking is closed and the valet is not taking any more cars due to sheer volume, it’s always fun to run through the airport.

7. Dress for the plane like the temperature outside your home.  

It’s cold outside and you really love wearing sweaters, scarves, and hats indoors.  No mind that you’ll be spending the entire day traveling in climate controlled areas and that planes are always 80-something degrees until takeoff.

Soooooo, if you follow these seven easy tips, you’ll be just as disoriented and lacking in basic toiletries as me on your trip.

Or, you could follow my (real) advice and be a well-organized travel maven with  tights that match your dresses and deodorant.

What’s that age old wisdom my mother used to say? Oh yeah…

Do as I say, not as I do.

 

6 Responses to How Not to Pack {A Sarcastic Tutorial}

  1. Haha, nice! I like to just open a suitcase and start throwing things I might want to bring at it until the day of my trip. Then I see how much I can actually fit and bring all of it with no room for anything extra that I might buy on the trip. That’s pretty much my packing style. If I’m driving, forget it. I will bring everything I possibly can. Have a great time!!

    • Yeah, I’ve never had room for things I might want to buy. Not once. But I usually only bring carry-ons so if I want to bring anything back, I have to buy a bag and check it.

  2. Unless I’m traveling for a long time (like months), I also have very sloppy packing habits. I generally assume that as long as I have myself and an valid ID to get on the plane, I can buy anything of importance at my destination.

  3. This is so me! Especially about taking clothes that you like. When I get where I’m headed, I open my bag and wonder what I was even thinking…Good thing I’m usually going to my sisters and can borrow from her!

  4. Haha, I hope you enjoy your trip regardless of what you ended up packing 😛 I am a bit OCD with lists so usually I’ll make a list [or two] and go off of that but then end up with twice as much as needed 😛

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